The Bigger the Conflict, the More Glorious the Victory
- Selana Kong
- Jul 15, 2022
- 4 min read
Read this story about the way I turned into a mediator.
I was in Legislative Council in 2018, negotiating between different stakeholders of an organization that was shut down by the government.
“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” - Ronald Reagan
The following is a true story about the way I helped a school to reopen after being shut down by the Department of Education through conflict coaching.
I want to take you back to November 2018; I was in a meeting at my child’s school at which I was also a teacher. The meeting was being held between a large group of 200 parents and the head teacher, who always carries a big handbag which contains her mobile office while she zigzags between her give schools. Completely out of the blue and without warning the head informed the gathered parents- that within 24 hrs, the school as we knew it may cease to exist. It was as if a bomb had suddenly been denoted.
Within minutes, what had been a calm and relaxed atmosphere was upended: So much so, that within seconds, a parent that I knew who sat at the back of the hall, suddenly sprang up from the chair – quivering with rage – screaming at the Head: “You are a liar!!”.
School was shut down on the very next day and teachers hung out at a coffee shop in the safety of numbers. Unless they sign a new contract with a new head, they will lose their jobs and be expatriated from the country within 2 weeks. All they knew about this new head is that he has been coming into the empty school next door for the past 2 years.
“What would make you feel more certain?” I asked a colleague while he showed me a photo of his teenage son.
“Well…I will feel more confident if we could have a legal witness when we sign the new contract.” I immediately reached for my phone and dialled a number.
The Chairman of the Professional Teachers’ Union is a man with dark hair slightly greying at the temples. He welcomed us into the mahogany-lined room in the Legislative Council in Hong Kong. You could hear a pin drop when the old and new school heads both entered at the same time.
The chairman took them to a separate room while we enjoyed our coffee. “I bet no one has ever signed a teacher contract at the Legislative Council before.”one of my ex-colleagues laughed while swiveling on a chair.
My phone suddenly disrupted the bliss.
“Has your child found a school yet?” a concerned voice asked.
“No, thank you! The teachers are signing their new contracts and my son doesn’t need a new school!” I answered in an autopilot voice.
After I hung up, I told my ex-colleagues that The Department of Education is actively calling every parent in that school to make sure they can find a new school space for each student.
“Guys!”, said my ex-colleague who stopped the swivel chair in mid-sentence, “If we don’t sign the contract now, there will be no more students left tomorrow!”.
A few minutes later, new contracts were signed en masse. The school heads were happy, and the teachers were relieved.
At 5:00 pm.
“Teachers signed new contracts and the xxx School will reopen on Monday!”, reported the Legislative Council Press Release Headline.
The End!
The School re-opened after 1 week of closure, and 8 out of 13 teachers remained employed. All of this was possible because of conflict coaching.
This powerful experience inspired me to receive professional training to become an International Accreditated Professional Mediator. This gives me great joy as I support organisations and businesses to resolve their disputes in a quick and low-cost way.
In 2021, The total annual cost of managing and resolving conflict for employers in the UK is at £28.5 billion. This represents an average of £1,000 annually for every employee, and £3,000 annually for each individual involved in the conflict (Acas, 2021).
There is a misconception that only people managers could resolve conflicts in the workplace.
In fact, anyone could invest in conflict coaching to deal with difficult emotions, handle tricky conversations and create win-win outcomes.
Another misconception is that you can’t deal with conflict on your own. Conflict coaching enables you to work on a dispute alone even when the other disputant doesn’t want to meet face-to-face.
I offered 3 Services.
I work 1 to 1 as a coach with any individuals.
I come into organisations to support leaders and teams with conflict coaching, team ,coaching or corporate governance consultancy.
I facilitate meetings between disputing parties to help them resolve conflicts through mediation, arbitration, or adjudication.
My coaching and mediation services as well as training are offered virtually or face-to-face in Llangollen, North Wales, UK. Reach out for a conversation to start your journey for peace.
Comentários